


A Broken Hope

by lamujerdeplata



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 17:23:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamujerdeplata/pseuds/lamujerdeplata
Summary: When Ben was young and the Republic still knitting the broken pieces of the galaxy together, he would come running to Han and Leia’s room night after night. But as Ben got older, she and Han paid less and less attention to his pleas for help. Leia had taken a more active role in the government and Han had started to do runs again. When they sent him off to Luke - Leia had no idea that would be the last time she saw her son again.





	A Broken Hope

When Ben was young and the Republic still knitting the broken pieces of the galaxy together, he would come running to Han and Leia’s room night after night. Nightmares of battles and blood and terrifying voices waking the small boy from peaceful sleep. Leia would always wake when Han tucked the squirming child between them, his small frame still shaking slightly from fear. Every night she would turn to face her husband and son and together the parents would wrap their arms around their child, lulling him back to sleep with their comfort.

But as Ben got older, she and Han paid less and less attention to his pleas for help. Leia had taken a more active role in the government and Han had started to do runs again. They thought Ben was saying he had nightmares to get attention again. 

* * *

By the time Ben was nine, the happy little boy was gone. He was solemn, moody even. Fits would often end with objects floating in the air one moment and then next being thrown hard enough to brake them, no matter how strong they were. Ben was terrified of himself, Leia could see this clear as day. Her little boy’s hands would shake and his wide eyes would fill with tears. Sometimes he’d look between his hands and the broken objects, back and forth, and ask,

“I’m I a monster, Mama?”

Leia didn’t know what to do anymore and then Luke suggested Ben come stay with him at the dodged. The Jedi Master could sense the imbalance within Ben and worried that his nephew’s behavior would lead him to the Dark Side.

Without much debate, young Ben found himself boarding the Millennium Falcon with his parents and Uncle Chewie, heading to Uncle Luke’s temple.

The Falcon was flying away not even two hours after dropping the little boy off.

Leia and Han returned for his tenth birthday. Their boy was still solemn, still unbalanced. There was something new in his eyes though, a distrust and weariness that Leia had never seen before. She never saw her little boy again. 

* * *

 

Taking the transport down to Takodana’s surface, Leia knew Han would be there, she just didn’t expect him to be right there.

“I saw him. Leia I saw our son.”

_Oh Ben…_

* * *

 

When she felt Han’s spirit pass into the force, Leia was nearly brought to her knees by grief and guilt. She told Han to bring him home… she sent him to his death.

_Is my little boy really gone?_

She could still hear his baby giggles... 

_Mama! Mama!_ __

* * *

 

The evacuation from D’Qar was a disaster, so many lives lost in the attempt to take out the Dreadnought. Pulling out of light speed, the quivering of the ship shook Leia out of her revere. It was only moments later that she, and everyone else on board, realized something was terribly wrong.

She and other commanders raced to the bridge, determined to get their people out of harm’s way. Orders were being barked and the incoming damage reports sending some into a near panic.

“We’ve lost Hanger 2!”

"Levels 5 and 8 have lost total power!"

“Shields are down by -“

_It can’t be… Ben?_

A heartbeat later, a just as shocked presence thrummed in her mind. Honing in on it, Leia could almost see her son’s face. Her own brown eyes staring back at her from under a heavyset brow. She could almost see the details of the wound bisecting his face and how beauty marks still crafted constellations across his pale skin.

She brushed against her son’s presence and felt him shrink away. Leia could still sense the misery tearing his soul apart and feel the mark Snoke had left on his mind. He was distressed… he couldn’t do something…

He took a deep breath, as if he were going to speak across their connection and -

Anger and despair overtook his shock suddenly, and Leia knew what was to come.

Closing her eyes, four year-old Ben’s smiling face was the last thing she saw before the vacuum of space took her.

_He really is gone…_

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I totally think that Kylo wasn't going to shoot his mother during that scene in TLJ. There was something in his face that told me that he wouldn't be able to do it. 
> 
> I only wish that Leia got the happy ending she deserved.
> 
> Rest in peace Carrie Fisher.


End file.
